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Abandoned, abused, and imprisoned—Mother of six wants to break the chain
- 4-6-2010
- Categorized in: Voices of Hope
Denita Hall rarely lets her young teenage daughters out of her sight, except to attend McFarland Middle School. She is well acquainted with the school, and, she says with confidence, “The school knows me.” Denita knows that the teachers will call her if something comes up and that her visits and involvement are welcome. She also knows that this school is a place where her needs, and those of her entire family, can be met.
“A lot of things at this school, I’m so grateful for,” says Denita. She talks about the multiple programs offered for the students, including special classes on HIV prevention and pregnancy. But her initial gratitude goes to something more practical.
“The personal hygiene kits from World Vision, and the food they give out—that helps so much,” she says.
Denita’s gratitude for basic supplies and her concern for her children comes out of a lifetime battle with hardship. For her, safety at the school and practical assistance with daily life are invaluable gifts. She wants more for her children than she has had, and is working hard to make sure her children grow up strong.
“I need to make sure I have my future secure for me and my kids,” says Denita. “That’s why I’m always here at their school. I check up on their behavior. I can only help my kids if I know what their issues are.”
Two of Denita’s six children currently attend McFarland Middle School. Her 14-year-old daughter Michelle is involved in cheerleading, basketball, track, and step dancing. Thirteen-year-old Shanice plays basketball, and runs both track and cross-country. They are good students, and rarely get into trouble, but Denita doesn’t want to risk anything. She knows firsthand the threats and challenges of adolescence.
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“The reason why I’m so protective of my kids is that I didn’t have a good childhood,” she says. “I grew up in a rough area, got pregnant at a young age. I ran away when I was 12. I ran the streets. You see, we had sexual abuse in the home, from my mother’s boyfriend. That’s how I ended up having a baby, but my mom didn’t believe me. Finally, he got locked up. I gave the baby up for adoption, and then I ran away from home. I lived here and there, abandoned, homeless, sometimes living with guys I didn’t know, just so I had a place to stay.” “I want to be a positive role model for my kids. I want them to see that education is a priority.” |
| Denita’s involvement is unusual for parents at McFarland Middle School. Alicia Green is a 6th grade counselor who deals with discipline issues, teaches life skills training, and helps interface with parents. But, she says, “We need more support from their parents. When we have parent-teacher conferences, in one evening we have maybe five parents. We don’t get enough support from parents.” From meeting with students, Alicia has an idea of what goes on at home. She says, “These kids have a lot of stuff going on at home. One student I met with today, his mom was just locked up. One-third of the kids aren’t living with their parents—their parents died, were incarcerated—so they live with foster parents or grandparents. Those kids need a lot of support. They come with a lot of baggage. They’re really good kids, just in bad circumstances that they’re not in control of.” Sadly, Denita’s children are also familiar with such circumstances. “I was in a 13-year abusive relationship with their father,” Denita says. “I ended up cutting him and got a sentence of five years. I had to do two years in prison from 1997-1999. Michelle was 4 and Shanice was 3 years old. For two years I was away from my kids.” Denita doesn’t talk about what happened to her children’s father, but she knew they couldn’t stay with him. She had two options, neither of which was ideal. “I was in between a rock and a hard place. I had one or two decisions to make. Let the city take my kids, or let my mom take them. My mom’s a chronic alcoholic. But I asked her to take my kids. And she did the best she could possibly do. I thank her everyday. ‘Cause the day I got out of prison I got my kids back.” In prison, Denita was able to take some classes, get her GED, and be equipped to support her family when she got out. “When I came home, I got my first job, working as a deli associate. I became a supervisor and almost a manager,” Denita says proudly. “Now I work at an elementary school as a volunteer. My youngest daughter goes there.” Denita has remarried, yet her husband currently is unemployed, taking care of his sick daughter from another marriage. “A lot of times I don’t have money,” says Denita. “I try to buy personals (like shampoo) once a month, but that doesn’t last. My husband is not working because he’s been at the hospital with my stepdaughter. I volunteer and get $15 a day. They just offered me a full-time job, so we’re about to get better.” Meanwhile Denita and her family scrape by on welfare and any assistance that the school can offer. Her welfare voucher covers rent, but she has little money for electricity, water, gas, and personal items. She is careful about reusing water, for example using their dirty dishwater to flush the toilet, and conserving electricity. “At night, after the sun sets, we keep on two lights, that’s it. The kitchen and the bathroom. That keeps my electric bill down,” she says. In addition, Denita says, “I do side jobs. When it snows, my kids and I go to people’s houses and we knock on the door and we ask them to shovel the snow. In summer, we cut grass, or rake the leaves. I go to people’s houses and clean their rooms. Sometimes I help people move. Sometimes my body is so exhausted.” Despite exhaustion and a difficult past, Denita keeps going. She has her children, a loving husband, and support from her daughter’s school and World Vision. Every month, Denita comes to McFarland Middle School to get a food basket. World Vision helps facilitate the food donations by connecting McFarland and Central Union Gospel Mission, which teamed up to distribute the food. Student volunteers help distribute the food to around 50 families. Davis Shaw is a 7th grade counselor at McFarland Middle School and helps coordinate the food program. She says, “If they’re in need and they’re hungry, we’ll help them. If someone comes off the street and needs food to feed their family, we’ll give it to them.” When food stamps or paychecks run low, parents at the school can get monthly supplies of fresh food, canned food, and gift certificates. “We don’t want them to feel ashamed,” says Davis Shaw. “Anybody can be on top of the world and lose it all. We want people to know, if the need is there, we can help you. If they come and need food and it’s not food day, we give them food. We give them what they need.” That’s why Denita loves this school and is grateful for World Vision. “World Vision, that helps us out,” she says. “When I come here [McFarland] the teachers and counselors give me things. At Christmas they help purchase coats for the kids. World Vision also gave us school supplies and backpacks.” With Denita’s involvement and supportive staff, her daughters Michelle and Shanice are doing well in school. “I want them to go to college,” dreams Denita. “My background is not good,” she says. “But now, I’ve gotten my life together.” |
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By Laura Reinhardt
February 2007
MacFarland Middle School
US Programs
Washington DC
